THAT DAMN ROOSTER!!!!!!

Boys and Girls, Roosters are a bad thing! Especially wicker ones with Ivy intertwined in them. A few years ago i repainted my kitchen and my husband and I were arguing about wallpaper to put up and he suggested roosters. I don't like roosters as decor or anything else. My sister Lillian decided that this was pretty funny and it became a running joke. So for my birthday she, my niece and their roomate took me for brunch @ a dragqueen show which was AWESOME!! But my gift was not AWESOME, It was a wicker rooster w/ugly plastic ivy woven through. Well the rooster made it to my house then made it's way to my mother in law's where he sat in her car for six months. Well after a family reunion he flew into my driver's seat. So then he drove to my sister's house and climbed into her nice soft comfy bed. :) Think the Godfather, horsehead part,LOL. SO She found him after a well texted innuendo and after a few dirty innuendos about having a cock around the house, threesomes and what not and shocking my 11 y.o son who "didn't know we were that inapproriate". That was just TOO DAMN FUNNY!! He covertly made his way back too my house. She sent a cryptic text mess. on Sat and not thinking about it told her to bring it on. She said she had. Didn't get it until Sunday and then was paranoid. I looked for almost two days, with a few hints from her and bigger hints to the kids. Well as i was leaving for work Tuesday afternoon I FOUND HIM!!!! The little bastard was hiding in the trees by the driveway!!!!!! Now I need to find a way to get her back. I'm thinking something to do with gnomes??? Any suggestions boys and girls???